primeras pinceladas de una futura autobiografía

Me está gustando mucho Kate Nash, como ya he escrito. Desde aquella noche de msn en que todo parecía normal cuando Tanya me la presentó, somos inseparables. Por eso es que subo fotografías mías en que no salgo bien, sino que salgo bien yo, a mi juicio por lo menos, seguidas de varias de sus letras, que en orden descendente son durante esta noche solitaria y feliz mis preferidas.




Extrañamente, conservé para mí las fotos del viaje a París, el mejor que hice jamás. Cuando reflexiono sobre ello puede que haya sido meramente circunstancial, pero prefiero pensar que no hubo casualidad de por medio, sino un amor tal a esos instantes en compañía de mí misma que resultaron tan valiosos y útiles para el futuro en razón del pasado del que venía librándome, que quise atesorarlos, y empezar a develar algunas instantáneas digitales de a poco, muy ligadas a lo que siento cuando consigo de una u otra forma plasmarlo y a las figuras que se pasean en el mundo que habito muy dentro mío, cuyas compañeras protagónicas y omniscientes, oníricas muchas veces, son la imaginación y la memoria. Hay aquí dos fotografías de Montmartre, después de haber visto la ciudad desde la Basílica tras una subida que me cortó el aliento en reiteradas oportunidades sobre la marcha, lo confieso. La primera, capta lo primero que hice por otro de los amables pintores que me recordaron a Aznavour en La Bohème (no estoy segura de si el acento es grave o agudo, pero en fin, da igual) junto a su compañera, y por eso accedí a pagarles por un dibujo la plata que ese día no almorcé; la segunda, ya con el dibujo en la mano y tratando de buscar calor en mis viejos guantes cuasi harapientos, la tomó Gabriel, el violinista guatemalteco con el que nos hicimos compañeros de tarde. Me agradó por muchas razones, aunque seguramente en el momento no lo puse de manifiesto (si no, no habría sido yo), entre ellas, porque caminaba y caminaba sin cesar por París, con la misma cara deslumbrada mía...

Mouthwash

This is my face, covered in freckles with the occasional spot and some veinsThis is my body, covered in skin, and not all of it you can seeAnd, this, is my mind, it goes over and over the same old linesAnd, this, is my brain, it's torturous and anatical thoughts make me go insaneAnd I use mouthwashSometimes I flossI've got a familyAnd I drink cups of teaI've got nostalgic pavementsI've got familar facesI've got mixed-up memoriesAnd I've got favourite placesAnd I'm singing uh-oh on a Friday nightAnd I'm singing Uh-oh on a Friday night And I'm singing uh-oh on a Friday night and I hope everything's gonna be alrightAnd I'm singing Uh-oh on a Friday night and I hope everything's gonna be alright

This is my face , I've got a thousand opinions, but not the time to explainAnd this is my body and no matter how you try and disable it, yes,i'll still be hereAnd, this, is my mind, and although you try and infringe, you cannot confineAnd, this, is my brain, and even if you try and hold me back there's nothing that you can gainCause I use mouthwashSometimes I flossI've got a familyAnd I drink cups of teaI've got nostalgic pavementsI've got familiar facesI've got mixed-up memoriesAnd I've got favorite places

And I'm singing Uh-Oh on a Friday nightAnd I'm singing Uh-Oh on a Friday nightAnd I'm singing Uh-Oh on a Friday night and I hope everything's gonna be alrightAnd I'm singing Uh-Oh on a Friday night and I hope everything's gonna be alrightUh-Oh-Oh-Uh-Oh-Uh-Oh-Uh-Oh


We Get On

Simply knowing you exist ain't good enough for meBut asking for your telephone numberSeems highly inappropriateSeeing, as, I, can't,Even say hi,When you walk byAnd that time you shook my hand it felt so niceI swear I never feel this way about any other guyAnd I never usually notice people's eyes but...I conducted a plan to bump in to you most accidentallyBut I was walking along and I bumped into youMuch more heavily than I'd originally plannedIt was well embarrassing and I think you thought that I was a bit of a twat...I just think that we'd get onI wish I could tell you face to faceInstead of singing this stupid songBut yeah I just think that we might get on

So I went to that party and everyoneThey were kind of artyAnd I was wearing this dressBecause I wanted to impressBut I wasn't sure if I looked my best'cause I was so nervousBut I carried on regardlessStrutting through each room trying to find youAnd when I saw you kissing that girlMy heart it shatteredAnd my eyes, they wateredAnd when I tried to speak I stutteredAnd my friends were like whateverYou'll find someone betterHis eyes were way too close togetherAnd we never even liked him from the startAnd now he's with that tartAnd I heard she done some really nasty stuffDown in the park with MichaelHe said she's easyAnd if your guy's with someone that's sleazyThen he ain't worth your time cause you deserve a real nice guySo I proceeded to get drunk and to cryAnd lock myself in the toilets for the entire nightSaturday night I watched channel fiveI particularly liked CSII don't ever dream about you and meI don't ever make up stuff about you and me that would be considered insanityI don't ever drive by your house to see if you're inI don't even have an opinion on that tramp that you're still seeingI don't know your timetableI don't know your face off by heartBut I must admit that there's a part that still thinksThat we might get onWe might get on

The Nicest Thing

All I know is that you're so nice,You're the nicest thing I've seen.I wish that we could give it a go,See if we could be something.I wish I was your favourite girl,I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world.I wish I was your favourite smile,I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style.I wish you couldn't figure me out,But you always wanna know what I was about.I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset,I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly,'Cos it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see.Basically, I wish that you loved me,I wish that you needed me,I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three.I wish that without me your heart would break,I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake.I wish that without me you couldn't eat,I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.All I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen;I wish that we could see if we could be something.

Foundations

Thursday night, everything's fine, except you've got that look in your eyeWhen I'm tellin' a story and you find it boring,You're thinking of something to say.You'll go along with it then drop it and humiliate me in front of our friends.Then I'll use that voice that you find annoyin' and say something like"yeah, intelligent input, darlin', why don't you just have another beer then?"Then you'll call me a bitch And everyone we're with will be embarrassed,And I wont give a shit.My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,And I know that I should let go, But I can't.And everytime we fight I know it's not right,Everytime that you're upset add a smile.I know I should forget, but I can't.You said I must eat so many lemons'cause I am so bitter.I said "i'd rather be with your friends mate 'cause they are much fitter."Yes, it was childish and you got aggressive,And I must admit that I was a bit scared,But it gives me thrills to wind you up.My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,And I know that I should let go, But I can't.And everytime we fight I know it's not right,Everytime that you're upset add a smile,I know I should forget, but I can't.Your face is pasty 'cause you've gone and got so wasted, what a surprise.Don't want to look at your face 'cause it's makin' me sick.You've gone and got sick all on my trainers,I only got these yesterday.Oh, my gosh, I cannot be bothered with this.Well, I'll leave you there 'til the mornin',And I purposely wont turn the heating on And dear God, I hope I'm not stuck with this one.My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,And I know that I should let go, But I can't.And everytime we fight I know it's not right,Everytime that you're upset add a smile.I know I should forget, but I can't.And everytime we fight I know it's not right,Everytime that you're upset add a smile.I know I should forget, but I can't.And everytime we fight I know it's not right,Everytime that you're upset add a smile.I know I should forget, but I can't.